In the 1970s, 80s and even 90s, children had something that is becoming rare today: they could roam their neighbourhood and explore the world on their own. They got on their bikes, knocked on a friend’s door and played for hours, without arranging anything in advance and without adult supervision. People often talk about how this kind of play develops creativity, confidence and social skills. There is also another, less well-known benefit: free play let children step outside the bubble of their own home.
Every home is a small world of its own, with its own rules, food, habits, values and way of talking. When children moved freely between homes and groups of friends, they got a look into these other worlds. They saw that at one friend’s house the TV was on all day, while at another’s it was hardly ever switched on. One family said grace before meals, another didn’t. Some ate their main meal at midday, others in the evening. Some families were loud and relaxed, others quiet and orderly.
This is how children calibrated themselves. They saw that there are different ways to live. They could compare and get a feel for what suited them and what didn’t. Above all, they learned that their way of life wasn’t the only one.
Today children spend most of their time in places controlled by adults: at home, at school, at extra activities. They meet children whom adults have chosen for them, often from a similar background. It feels safe, but it narrows their outlook.
A child who doesn’t know other ways of living adopts rigid views and stereotypes more easily, and finds empathy harder. When they see that life in other homes is different, and that this is fine, they see the world more broadly.
Free play gives children joy, agency and confidence, and on top of that, perspective. Even a little more of this freedom will help raise people who are more empathetic and open. In practice it might mean letting your child walk to a friend’s place a few doors down on their own. You’ll find more ideas for making it easier for children to get together in our article “Don’t let a little mess stop a playdate”.